#1. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you’re married.
The classic mistake. Never marry potential. The golden rule is, if you can’t be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don’t get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, “You actually can expect people to change after their married… for the worst!”
So when it comes to the other person’s spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now.
#2. Choosing a life partner based on physical attractiveness is not bad but, before that , it must be taken into consideration that beauty, as it is, is a natural wealth for a short period of time. Humans change with respect to time. If the person does not age, there are other factors that can really take the attractiveness of the without us not able to do anything about it. We are just life flowers, wild and all rosy in the morning but gloomy and weak by night fall. Have you asked yourself whether you will be able to live with the person should all the attractiveness fade away?
#3.Another factor that influences bad partnership decision is sex. Most ladies especially, when in their youth, desire men who can actually make them feel good in bed. But we must not forget that it is a lifetime decision and a long term execution of plan not a short term one. The problem is that sometimes we forget that it is a long term decision we are taking and thus choosing a partner for that journey should go far beyond the physicalities. Imagine eating one particular food for a month, two or three. Would you ever have an appetite for that particular food in the next month to come? Definitely no! It is same with sex. Having sex with one particular person for a long period of time can be boring sometimes thus not good factor to consider when choosing a partner. Intimacy is always on the woman’s terms. Men are goal-oriented, especially when it comes this area. As a wise woman once pointed out, “Men have two speeds: on and off.” Women are experience-oriented. When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented, he will discover what makes his wife very happy. When the man forgets about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife pleasure, amazing things happen.
#4. You choose the wrong person because you do not share a common life goals and priorities.
There are three basic ways we connect with another person:
chemistry and compatibility
share common interests
share common life goal
Make sure you share the deeper level of connection that sharing life goals provide. After marriage, the two of you will either grow together or grow apart. To avoid growing apart, you must figure out what you’re “living for,” while you’re single — and then find someone who has come to the same conclusion as you.
This is the true definition of a “soul mate.” A soul mate is a goal mate — two people who ultimately share the same understanding of life’s purpose and therefore share the same priorities, values and goals.
#5. You choose the wrong person because you get intimately involved too quickly.
Intimacy before the commitment of marriage can be a big problem because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of important issues. Physical involvement tends to cloud one’s mind. And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good decisions.
It is not necessary to take a “test drive” in order to find out if a couple is physically compatible. If you do your homework and make sure you are intellectually and emotionally compatible, you don’t have to worry about it. Of all the studies done on divorce, incompatibility in the intimate arena is almost never cited as a main reason why people divorce.
#6. You pick the wrong person because you do not have a deeper emotional connection with this person.
To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional connection or not, ask: “Do I respect and admire this person?”Most people choose to accept anyone as a life partner because of the fact that they are probably ageing. This is most common among women. Most women believe that once they get to their late twenties and still man less, must accept anyone without consideration if not, much about the composition of the man they are going to tie the knot with which sometimes ends up in disaster.
#7. Pity, they say is the sweetest form of love. Actually, I don’t see any sense in that. How can you make a choice of a wife or husband based on that? It is too cheap. If you going out with someone and think the person doesn’t march the kind of husband or wife you intend marrying, why don’t you just forget about the person and ignore the fact that the person will probably change one day. In fact it is the worst mistake and harm you can ever do to yourself.
#8. You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape from personal problems and unhappiness.
If you are unhappy and single, you’ll probably be unhappy and married, too.
If you are unhappy and single, you’ll probably be unhappy and married, too. Marriage does not fix personal, psychological and emotional problems. If anything, marriage will exacerbate them.
If you are not happy with yourself and your life, take responsibility to fix it now while you are single. You’ll feel better, and your future spouse will thank you.
Credit: www.lailasblog.com/
No comments:
Post a Comment