Last weekend, Dr. Reuben Abati, the former Special Adviser (Media and Publicity) to ex-President Goodluck Jonathan, wrote an article, entitled, “The phones no longer ring”. That article led to a lot of debate, insults and abuse on both traditional and the New Media. And I’m not about to join the fray but, that is one of the things that make us who we are as Nigerians; we insult and abuse one another even before we know why we do what we do.
In very clear terms, the article alluded to the loneliness and desertion that come on the wings of being out of public office. For a minute or two, I want us to leave the person of Abati out of this discourse and look at the article objectively; of course, I’m mindful of the fact that where emotions are involved, people cannot be objective. So, let’s leave emotion out of this and look at things more critically and dispassionately.
In simple terms, the article tells us who and how we are as human beings. It puts in front of us a mirror and there we stand, naked and bare with our faults, flaws and foibles staring us in the face. We simply relate to the position or office that people occupy and not who they truly are to us; not taking into account the fact that they’re human beings with limitations. We put so much pressure on them to help us and when they don’t, we throw tantrums; curse and abuse them and in some cases, we even threaten them.
I recall reading Mallam Nasir el-Rufai’s “The Accidental Public Servant” and in one of the chapters of the book, he chronicled his experience while in and out of office as the Director-General Bureau for Public Enterprises and subsequently, Minister of the Federal Capital Territory. His experience is similar to that of Abati; the phones no longer ring! The gifts and greetings no longer come.
Of course, in Nigeria, the minute you’re announced as occupying any position that gives you a certain level of influence, wealth and power, your phones will start ringing off the hook; sometimes you’ll even be at a loss as to how long lost friends, family, neighbours and former colleagues got your phone number. Some are actually genuinely calling to congratulate you and wish you well, while others call and as they round off the call, they end it with-“remember me in your new kingdom o!”
You instantly become a celebrity and you get all kinds of invitations to birthday parties, baby christening ceremonies, house warming parties, graduation parties, funeral ceremonies, all kinds of people want to put a garland on your neck and a plaque in your hand for being a “worthy personality” of some sort and you begin to wonder where all these folk had been before your elevation to the new office. Indeed, success has many fathers!
Thinking through Abati’s piece and el-Rufai’s book, you begin to get a sense of what some people go through in and out of public office and you realise that the very nature of being “called to serve” (read called to chop) attracts all kind of people into your life. First, you have both close and extended family members to deal with; these people automatically follow you to office with their entitlement mentality; to them, it’s longer you that is being appointed into office, it is “us”; it’s a family appointment and they’ll be gracious and quick to preach the sermon of family values to you.
So, you get a long list of what you must do for them even before you get a hang of what your job entails (ask Emmanuel Adebayor) and if you refuse to do it, you’ll be summoned to a family meeting where you’ll be given the dressing down of your life. You’ll be told how that uncle loaned your father the money to help you complete your secondary school education and how that aunty gave you foodstuffs throughout your undergraduate days. So, it’s now payback time and you’re under an “oath” to grant their requests.
You also have friends and relations who work in the banks, chasing you to come and open accounts with them. Of course, some of them are willing to offer you loans without following due process. You also have neighbours who had never said hello to you automatically making you the chairman of the neighourhood association, without first seeking your consent, because they know you now occupy a position that gives you the wealth and power to construct roads, hire security guards for them and provide basic amenities. How about former colleagues and schoolmates, who harass you to come and hang out with the boys? And church pastors who give you a new title that befit your new position?
You also have other fans and hangers-on who are willing to be your PA, driver, cook, gardener, bag carrier, shoe cleaner and laundry man, without you asking them. It’s needless to say that your e-mail box will be threatening to burst with the number of CVs you’ll get from all kinds of people, telling you to help them get jobs in companies you never knew existed; because now you’re in a prominent position in Nigeria and all you need to do is to call the managing director or even the chairman of any company and tell them your Auntie’s son has applied for a job in that company and they must offer it to him; in some cases, without interview!
People just think you have the power to do all things and yet, they know you’re not Jesus Christ!
Need I mention that you’ll now have “friends” who have suddenly become contractors and will be present at all the events they know you have been invited to and they’ll gleefully thrust their business cards in your hands. When you take a look at the card, the fellow is now into – interior decoration, party planning, gifts and souvenirs supply, sale of “aso ebi”, stationery supplies and even car import. In fact, some will drop “samples” of their products in your house, your parents’ house, your in-laws house and your siblings’ with an appeal to help them put in a word.
That’s the kind of pressure and frustration that come with occupying a public office. And this can destroy a man who is not emotionally strong and stable.
Taking it further, some people now think they have a right to occupy the position of counsellors and advisers in your life. People will use interesting biblical allegories to advise you on the kind of clothes to wear, who you should associate with, how to raise your children, how to relate with your wife, how to conduct yourself, what to eat so that you don’t add needless weight, how to spend your money and what to invest your money in. Your life when you occupy a public office is no longer yours and you’re sometimes at a loss as to who’s truly altruistic and who’s selfish and self-centred.
And when you think about it more deeply, this kind of pressure comes when you’re in a position; be it in public or private corporation, that gives you a certain level of wealth, comfort, influence and power. If you’re still in doubt ask those who work in the Human Resources position of some companies.
Before I’m being misunderstood, let me state very clearly that I’m 100 per cent in support of being generous with gifts, I support giving to alleviate the suffering of the helpless and hopeless. I support using whatever God has given you to serve people and make life better for them. As a matter of fact, I think very strongly that the rich have a responsibility towards the poor.
But, when people now begin to ascribe honours and give you unsolicited titles and positions because of the office you occupy, just to curry your favour, you should be wary; because when they milk you dry, indeed your phones will no longer ring.
by BABATUNDE ARIBIDO
Aribido is based in Lagos
tunde.aribido@gmail.com
Credit: Olu Famous
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